Boy or Girl??

Today was the big day! I am now 22 weeks pregnant and we had our appointment at the Doctor for our sonogram.

First off, I want to start off with my feelings leading up to the appointment.  I had a mixture of excitement and fear.  I have discussed in previous posts that I have lost a lot of weight. Almost 30 pounds since I became pregnant.  Most of it was weight I needed to get rid of!  Up to this point I have not gained any of that back.  The Doctor was not concerned about this but I was.  I was scared that I was doing something wrong and when I go to the sonogram today they would tell me that the baby was under weight! My wonderful husband had tried  to convince me that everything was going to be fine but it was hard to put those fears to rest.  At the same time, I was excited to find out what we would be having.  It is so hard to go in stores and see stuff you want but not know what color to buy! I am also tired of referring to the baby "it". I was dealing with my anxiety this morning and actually ended up getting sick after eating lunch.  It has been over a month since I've gotten sick! I knew that I needed to calm down and trust in God that everything was going to be ok!

We get to the Doctor and they called us back for the sonogram.  The tech starts doing all the measurements and I'm just laying there thinking, wow, I can't see anything on that screen! It looks like a bunch of black with an occasional white spot. She then told us that the baby was measuring a week farther along than my due date.  It weighs 1lb 3oz which is big! My fears were wrong! The baby is just taking all my weight! Once I heard that I was able to relax a lot!

Finally she gets done with the not so fun parts and started to show us things.  I kept feeling little movements and she said it looked like the baby had hiccups.  That is one of the cutest things to me! We got to see a profile of the face and two little feet.  It was amazing!  Jordan was trying as hard as he could to see it but he told me later that he couldn't see anything in those pictures.  One day he will be able to! Then the Tech says, "Do you want to know what it is?"  Chris and I both said YES!!  She zoomed in on a section and said it is clear that this is a BOY!!

I have to be honest, I was a little disappointed, I really wanted a girl, but after about 2 seconds that passed and I started thinking about my baby boy! Jordan and Chris were so excited!

After printing us off 4 pictures we were done and ready to see the Doctor.  I went to get weighed and I had gained three and a half pounds! Most women hate when the scale goes up but this was a good sign for me.  At this point in my pregnancy I am suppose to gain about a pound a week.  I was at the Doctor three weeks ago so I am right on track. My appetite has come back for the most part.  I am eating every meal but my portions are NOTHING like what they use to be.  I usually get kids meals everywhere we go and have trouble eating even that much!

Dr. Coulter-Smith came in and said everything looked GREAT! Both the baby and I are healthy! I go back in four weeks for the dreaded hour long glucose test.  I pray it comes back negative because I REALLY don't want to have to do the three hour one!

Thank you everyone for your prayers and congratulations! We are so blessed to have so many friends and family!

"The Love Dare" Day 7

Wow! Was today's lesson an eye opener.

Love Believes the Best

The entire lesson was talking again about how we focus on the negative of relationships without being thankful for the positives.  The dare was to take out two pieces of paper. On the first one write positive things about your spouse and on the second write negatives.  Then you were to hide them in a secret place until a later dare told you what to do with them.

The house was totally silent.  Chris and Jordan were already asleep so I thought, what a great time to sit down and think about my husband.  I started writing out the positives and each and every one made me grateful for him.  It became very easy to keep writing positive things.  Some of the things I hadn't thought of in years! Some of the things were the physical things that attracted me to him 9 years ago.  Though we have both changed physically it was nice to remember those features and to realise that they are still there!

Then I started on the negatives list.  I was about 3 things into it when I realized everything I was writing was a selfish thing that I wished he would do to make me happier.  Writing that list made me realise how selfish I am.  What was also interesting was that some of the things I like most about him, were the same things I disliked.  Let me give an example.

On the positive side  I wrote that Chris is very laid back and doesn't let things bother him.  He allows God to work things out and he doesn't worry.  He knows that God is in control

On the negative sheet, I wrote how he never seems to think things are important and that they need to be taken care of.  In short.  I was saying that I am impatient and that I think things need to be done in MY time and I don't understand how he can just sit there.  WOW!!! He's doing the right thing and I'm worrying and causing stress and more than likely causing fights between because I can't relax and let God take control.

This is just one example of the realisations I had while doing tonight's Dare.  This Dare may sound simple, but when you sit down and start making those list, look at what the real motivations are behind the negatives.

I challenge you to do this with someone you love.  Don't give them the list, there is no really no need.  You will see that the positives FAR out weigh the negatives and you will have a whole new respect for the other person.

God Bless You All

for more info on the book visit their website

"The Love Dare" Days 4-6

I knew when I started this book that challenges would come up within the book, but I also knew that one of my biggest challenges would be reading and doing the dares daily.  It was easy to do while Jordan was out of town, I had quiet time to sit and read and think.  Then my birthday happened and I skipped one day.  I have found in many things once you have skipped once it is so easy to make excuses and skip again.  I honestly don't know what day I should be on.  The last couple dares have not had much to talk about.  I am going to give short recaps of what I did on those days.

Day 4: Love is Thoughtful


When you first get married you would do anything for your spouse.  You are constantly asking if they need help or trying to find a way to make their day just a little easier.  As time progresses it becomes more self centered, that is just the human nature.  This lesson tells us that we should always be thoughtful and aware of what our spouse wants or needs.  The dare was to contact your spouse at some point during the day with no other agenda than to see if they needed anything.  When this dare came up for me Chris was off work.  I had no need to contact him because he was home with me all day.  To be honest, I know I asked him but I don't remember what it was that I did.  As I said, its been a crazy week and I'm pregnant so my memory is shot!

The goal now is to find a way to make asking him his needs a natural and routine part of my day.

Day 5: Love is not rude

Do you like being around people who are rude to you? Of course not, so why are we so often rude to our spouses? When I read this, it hit me hard.  I have started trying to listen to the things I say and the way I say them.  Being rude isn't just in words but also in the tone of your voice.  Just tonight I found myself talking rude to a member of my family.  When it was pointed out to me, I felt horrible.  Why do we treat the ones we love in this way? If you haven't noticed, every lesson has something to do with the others.  Everything however seems to point back to being selfish.    Often times we are nicer to complete strangers than we are our own family.  WHY?? We should strive daily to treat the ones we love with respect.  Going back to day one of this book, if you can't say something positive, don't speak!

The dare for this day was to go to your spouse with a clear mind and in a non hostile way and ask your spouse three things that you do that irritates them or makes them feel uncomfortable.  This can be a hard pill to swallow and its normal to want to defend yourself.  I am the worlds worst at getting defensive. I decided that I had to ask Chris.  His answer were almost exactly what I was expecting.  I will not share those with you as they are personal but just know that after he told me the three things that irritates him he followed up with an amazing compliment that brought me to tears.

This exercise was an eye opener and I have vowed to work on those three things.  What three things do you do? I encourage you to ask, the answers may be hard to hear but if dealt with can change your relationship.

Day 6: Love is not Irritable

Wow, does that hit close to home.  I know on so many occasions I blow up for no reason.  I take anger out on those I love because they are there. Is that love? No, I believe it would be the complete opposite. Love means holding our anger and keeping our emotions in check.  This is a very hard thing for me right now.  As many of you know I am five months pregnant.  My emotions are on a roller coaster, but I can't use that as an excuse.  All this means is that I have to try that much harder to keep myself in check.

We get so use to our day to day routines.  Many things can be the trigger of our irritability.  But we must look at see why we are getting so upset and try to find a positive way to react to a negative situation.

The book talks of two major triggers of irritability.  They are stress and selfishness.

I think stress is pretty self explanatory. Stress can be harmful to not only your relationships but your health has well.  Stress causes you to say and do things that you would not normally do.  We owe it to ourselves and the ones we love to try in every way to remove the stress triggers in our lives. The Bible is the best self help book for removing stress in your life.  Open the pages and find what God commands us to do about stress!

I have discussed already how selfishness can cause you to be irritable.  When it comes to our loved ones we need to put our issues to the side and focus all of our attention on those people needing us. I don't feel that much more needs to be said on this.

The dare for today was to make a list of ways you can add more time to your schedule and release stress.  And to also list  any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.  I challenge you to do the same

I hope that you are enjoying these posts.  I know they are long.  Eventually I will make more time in my day to blog more and then only have to tell you about one day at a time.

Here is a link to the book for those who want to get your copy.

"The Love Dare" Day 2 and 3

Day 2: Love is Kind

"Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."

Eph 4:32

This was the key verse for today's lesson and I feel it needs no real explanation.  Instead with the help of this book I would like to define what kindness is.  "Kindness is love in action.  If patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative circumstance, kindness is how love acts to maximize a positive circumstance.

What does this mean to me?  To me, it says that both patience and kindness are needed to have true unconditional love.  Patience is being put in a situation and deciding how to react to it in a positive way.  Kindness is actually acting to make the positive situation come to being.  You can no have kindness without patience.

The book goes on to break kindness down into four different areas.  Gentleness, Helpfulness, Willingness, and Initiative.

Gentleness is saying what needs to be said no matter how hard it is, in a calm and loving way.

Helpfulness means putting your needs wants and desires aside to help your spouse when needed.  There may be times when you think your stuff is more important but showing kindness and unconditional love means telling your spouse what you were doing but offering to take a break and help them.  This one is hard for all of us but a little goes a long way.  If you help your spouse and they see on a regular basis what you are doing for them, they may be more willing to return the favor.

Willingness goes right along with helping your spouse.  If you do decide to put your things aside to help them, do it with a positive attitude and a willing heart.  Nothing is worse than getting the help you need but hearing negative comments the whole time.  Kindness is being able to be flexible.  To compromise.

Initiative means thinking ahead, not waiting to be asked, just doing what needs to be done.  In the book it talked about being the first to greet when someone gets home from work.  This hit close to home for me.  I stay at home and take care of our house and family while Chris works.  We get so set in our ways that its easy to forget how much a "Hello, how was your day" means to our spouse.  Initiative means being the firs to say hello, smile, and forgive firsts.  If both of you are sitting around waiting on the other one to say I'm sorry, it may never happen.  Being kind means not waiting on the other person.  It means putting your ego, pride, and emotions aside and deciding that your going to make the situation better. Wow!! That is a hard pill to take at times.

The dare for day 2 was to show a random act of kindness to your spouse.  To do something that they weren't expecting to make them feel better.  As I said earlier Chris works hard so that I can stay at home. I can not tell him enough how much this means to me.  As a way to show kindness to him and to tell him how thankful I am for all he does I decided that he deserved a nice back rub.  His job is physically and mentally demanding so this was a nice way to help him relax.  I can't speak for him but I know that it made me feel better to be able to show him what he means to me, even if it was just with a short back rub!

I challenge you to no only show kindness to your spouse/significant other, but also try just smiling at a stranger or saying a simple "hello, I hope you have a great day. " You never know what that person is going through and it may be just what they need to hear to get through the day!

Day 3: Love is Not Selfish

This lesson was pretty short but in no way less important.  Love is not only about one person.  It takes two to have a true loving relationship.  Many times you will have to set yourself aside to focus on the other person.  Love is about being able to do this with skills learned in day one and two.

By nature we are selfish and this can often times cause problems in a relationship.  I am as guilty as the next guy of doing what I want before doing what my husband or son wants and needs.  But in order to truly love my husband I owe him more.  I can no promise to him to always put him first, I am human, but I can promise to make more of an effort.

The things you do to show that you are thinking about your spouse can be as big as moving away from your family for his job to as little as buying his favorite drink at the store instead of yours.

I am going to share a personal experience and a way that I think both Chris and I put each other first in our marriage.

We had been married about 3 years when Chris came home one day saying he wanted to move to Texas for school.  We were at the time living in Arkansas and had all of our family and friends around us.  We were trying to raise our 3 year old son and were enjoying all the help we were getting.  At first I was like, NO WAY! I'm not leaving my family and friends just so you can go to school, you don't even know if you will like it.  We know no one there, we have no house, no job, why would be pick up and move.  After much soul searching and talking it out with Chris we decided that it was the best thing for our family.  We were taking a step in faith that God would provide everything we needed.

We visited the school and loved what we saw, that same weekend Chris applied for and got a job at DFW airport and we found a very nice apartment.  All in one weekend trip! We were moving to Texas.  It wasn't so much to go to school but to build our lives together.  We felt like we were not growing as a couple being so close to the things of our past.  This was a huge selfless act on both of our parts.  I'm not saying it was easy, I cried for almost a year after we moved here and went through a serious time of depression but looking back, Chris was right.  It was the best thing we could have ever done for our family.  Sometimes being selfless means trusting your spouse and stepping out in faith.

The challenge today was to buy your spouse something that says "I was thinking of you today"

I am not able to drive so I had to get a little creative with this one.  I ended up going online and getting Chris a t-shirt he said he had been wanting for a very long time.  I sent him an e-mail telling him I had bought it and that I was thinking about him.  I'm not sure, but I think it made him happy.  He said again how long he had been wanting it.

As I have done in previous days, I am going to challenge you.  I challenge you to find something while you are out today that tells that special someone you were thinking about them and you appreciate them.  You don't have to spend much, it could be as simple as their favorite candy bar.

If you have taken on any of my challenges please comment and let me know how it went!

"The Love Dare" Day One

I decided today was as good a day as any to start reading the book "the Love Dare" At the bottom of this post you will find a picture of the book and a link so you can get it for yourself.

What is "The Love Dare". The description on the back of the book says it best. "The Love Dare is a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love." Basically for 40 days you read through this book and it gives you exercises or dares to help you improve your marriage and learn the true meaning of unconditional love.  Some of you may have heard of the movie "Fireproof" this is the book that goes along with that movie.

You do not have to go through this as a couple but it is recommended.  I plan to tell you some of my experiences as I go through this.  Obviously some things are meant to stay between a husband and a wife but the parts I can share I will.

DAY ONE: Love is Patient

I had no idea how hard day one would be! If you know me even a little bit you probably know that I am not a patient person.   I have a hard time giving up control of things and allowing things to happen in their own time.  Today's lesson was talking about how love is built on two pillars.  Patience and Kindness.

When you decide to be patient you are deciding to be positive and let things happen.  When you are impatient you often times will respond in a negative or even foolish way.  I will be the first to tell you that I often react to thing negatively and have found myself with my foot in my mouth way to many times to count.  The Bible tells us in many instances the repercussions of impatience and anger.  It warns us to not let those things into our lives.  One of the main verses being Proverbs 14:29 which says

He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick tempered exalts folly"

The basic lesson of today is to slow down, and think before you speak.  Take a deep breath and say something that is positive to the situation.  Negative will only make it worse.  If you like me, this is not an easy thing to do.  But its something that will make you and your relationship stronger.

My dare today was to say nothing negative to my spouse.  If I felt like saying something, I would stop and either say something positive or nothing at all.  I know we are all familiar with the "if can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" phrase and that's what I had to do today. I think I did pretty well.  There were times I wanted to speak and normally I would have, but today I tried extra hard to be positive.

I challenge you to think of someone who means the world to you and who you love unconditionally and go a day without saying anything negative to them.  Comment and lt me know how it goes and how you felt afterwards.  I am looking forward to my day 2 challenge.

You can get your copy of The Love Dare here

19 Weeks Pregnant!

I am now 19 weeks and one day pregnant!

Exciting things are happening! About 2 weeks ago I started feeling some minor movement.  It was so light that I had to be laying just right to feel it. Last week the movements became more frequent and harder.  For me this is very exciting! It makes all the sickness worth it.  When you feel the first movements its at that point reality starts to set in.  There really is a baby there!

On Monday of this week Chris got to experience this as well.  While laying in bed he put his hand on my stomach.  The baby thought it had a new toy and was kicking the hardest I have felt to this point.  This was exciting for both Chris and I.  The next step is for Jordan to feel it.  He is in Arkansas spending a couple weeks with the grandparents and I'm looking forward to the day he comes home and can feel his little brother or sister kicking Mommy.

I had a Doctor visit today.  They asked me if I wanted to take the blood test that would screen for genetic testing.  I opted out.  In my mind there is no reason to know in advance.  Regardless of what that test says we are going to have this baby and love it unconditionally.  I don't see a point in taking the test.  If it came back abnormal that would order more test that can potentially be dangerous for both the baby and I.  I was pleased with my Doctor, Dr. Coulter-Smith, in her letting me make this decision.

The baby was moving around a lot this morning and once we found the little booger we heard a good strong heart beat at 150.  That is PERFECT! I look forward to every visit and hearing the heart beat!

The main issue I am dealing with right now is gaining weight.  Its not happening.  Since I got pregnant I have lost about 20 pounds.  I went in this morning thinking and feeling fat and found out I had actually lost another pound from last month.  Dr. Coulter-Smith is not concerned about this.  She said that often women eat better when pregnant and get in better shape.I never thought I would have a problem gaining weight while pregnant.  Please don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining!  The baby and I are doing fine.  We go back on August 25 to find out if its a boy or girl! Everyone is so excited.  We are going to check Jordan out of school early and make it a family event.  I feel it is very important that he be there and share that experience with us.  I am hoping they say its a girl! I don't think Chris and Jordan care either way.

My only other issue is I have lost many IQ points over the last couple of weeks.  If you know me well, I don't have many to spare. Chris and enjoyed laughing at me in my stupidity.  I pray that it doesn't get any worse.  As I go back and read this post I realize I am rambling! Thank you for reading and putting up with me. If I do not post again before the sonogram, I will be back definitely in 3 weeks!

I am going to finish with a picture. No explanation needed.